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Kim Possible: Badical Battles Kim Possible: Attack of the Killer Bebes Kim Possible: Killigan's Island Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Death of Buffy Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Ugly Little Monsters Buffy the Vampire Slayer: False Memories Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Creatures of Habit Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Out of the Woodwork Five Shots and a Funeral By the Balls: A Bowling Alley Murder Mystery
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Sunday, April 24, 2005Vader is a Player - The T-Shirt
That's right, folks. Based on the overwhelming success of my now-discontinued "Iraq is for Players" T-shirt, comes a new episode in stellar T-shirt fashion. You read it here first, but now you can proudly proclaim in public that Vader is a Player.
Get them before the "insurgents" shut me down (if you know what I mean).  And huge Pasconian props to esteemed statesman John Rogers, for a very kind write-up on his incredibly cool blog, Kung Fu Monkey. In addition to advising me on all my high-concept policies, in his spare time he writes movies. But not just any movies. My main man wrote CATWOMAN. You would do well to listen to him. Really. Friday, April 22, 2005Vader is a Player
To answer Graham's comment about the new Pope: despite the new pope's resemblance to the evil lord of the universe in the Star Wars movies, I prefer to concentrate on the positive -- you want to talk player? Vader is a Player.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005UglyTown Contest
Head on over to the UglyTown site and check out the details of our new contest. Free books are good books.
Tuesday, April 05, 2005Iraq is for Players, Not for Popes
I just needed to say it again.
Monday, April 04, 2005Pope Pascoe? Prime Minister 'Just Says No'
Ending a heated day or two of discussion, Iraq Prime Minister Jim Pascoe says that he will not pursue any interim responsibilities at Vatican City.
"I admit, at first I was totally drawn into the idea of getting to wear the funny hat," Pascoe stated. "But then somebody told me about the whole 'no sex' thing, and I was like HMMMM. I get to have tons of sex being the Prime Minister. Maybe I'll just stick to that. Beside, if I just keep taking every global title that becomes available, people may thing that this whole site is some joke. Bear this closely in mind, my friends: THIS IS NO JOKE. I AM THE PRIME MINISTER OF IRAQ." Pascoe's doctors have refused comment on this particular story. Saturday, April 02, 2005Pascoe Considers Role as Interim Pope
Vatican City, ROME -- Iraq Prime Minister Jim Pascoe turned his thoughts to peace this weekend. The author/publisher/musician/middle east politician has offered the world comfort during the global mourning for John Paul II by considering stepping into the role of interim Pope.
"The world needs a spiritual leader, and I think I have the right qualifications to do the job," Pascoe said. "I'm not saying that I want the job forever. I've got other things to do. Like sell T-shirts. But would it really be bad to have an Emmy winner in the Vatican? I don't think so." Friday, April 01, 2005Cabinet Birthday
Iraq Over-Under Secretary of Dismissive and Right-Wing Condescension, Mr. Michael J. Dale, has turned one year older today. The international press has speculated that this is an "April Fools" put on by the Pascoe regime to make his cabinet appear older and more mature. Sadly, this is not the case.
"Everything you read on this site is 100% true," the Prime Minister declared. "Why would today be any different?" Faced with such an obvious confrontation of mortality, Pascoe is rumored to be working on a living will, just in case any random accident or assasignation attempt would leave him unable to make decisions for himself or his country.
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