|
Undertown, vol. 1 Hellboy Animated: The Judgment Bell Hellboy Animated: The Black Wedding Kim Possible: Badical Battles Kim Possible: Attack of the Killer Bebes Kim Possible: Killigan's Island Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Death of Buffy Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Ugly Little Monsters Buffy the Vampire Slayer: False Memories Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Creatures of Habit Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Out of the Woodwork Five Shots and a Funeral By the Balls: A Bowling Alley Murder Mystery
Please support my art, writing, and imperial pursuits with a contribution! |
Tuesday, December 13, 2005Tips for a Safe and Successful Riot
Stanley Tookie Williams is dead. While it's important to understand that I'm not specifically trying to incite a riot (please see yesterday's post), if it means disrupting the city and getting my office to close down while the fires die out, so that I can more fully enjoy the upcoming holiday season, spending quality time with my family, well... With that said, please keep the following in mind today while your anger seethes uncontrollably.
• Wear proper shoes. Leather soles make for easy moonwalking, you retro hound, but will more easily make you slip and fall while running from the cops down blood-slicked streets. • Don't forget to grab enough power strips. Nothing's worse than coming home from a good looting only to realize that you don't have enough outlets to plug in your newly liberated electronics. And nothing kills the buzz of a good riot like a trip to Home Depot. • Location, Location, Location. Forget South Central, those poor peeps have had their fair share of riots -- spread the love around a bit. Consider Hollywood, near where I work. The looting is bound to be better. • Ignore any temptation to "talk things out" and discuss the "important" racial issue and human-right concerns brought up by the Williams case. You are right and they are wrong. Trust in our elected officials and follow their example of acting without thinking. • Finally, ask yourself how can rioting help me, Jim Pascoe, and how can it improve my already comfortable lifestyle? If you can't answer these questions: don't riot. Just remember that your contributions to anarchy could net me a day, possibly more, off of work. Be smart. Be safe. And most importantly have fun today. Thanks. // posted at
1:09 AM //
|
|
© Jim Pascoe. All Rights Reserved.
4 Comments:
I Predict a Riot
(Kaiser Chiefs)
Watching the people get lairy,
It's not very pretty I tell thee.
Walking through town is quite scary
Not very sensible either.
A friend of a friend he got beaten,
He looked the wrong way at a policeman.
Would never have happened to Smeaton.
And old Leodiansian.
BRIDGE
La-ah-ah ooh lalalalalala
Aa-ah-ah ooh lalalalalala
CHORUS
I predict a riot
I predict a riot
I predict a riot
I predict a riot
I try to get into my taxi,
A man in a tracksuit attacks me.
He said that he saw it before me,
Wants to get things a bit gory.
Girls run around with no clothes on,
To borrow a pound for a condom.
If it wasn't for chip fat, they'd be frozen.
They're not very sensible.
BRIDGE
CHROUS
And if there's anybody left out here,
That doesn't want to be out there.
Watching the people get lairy,
It's not very pretty I tell thee.
Walking through town is quite scary and
not very sensible
BRIDGE
CHROUS
BRIDGE
CHORUS
--------
(From Tony in PC, Fla.)
hee hee that is way too funny. brilliant! so far it seems quiet in CA, no? our office had a major discussion about his execution - seems like everyone has an opinion on this.
Yeah, it's quiet ... but I still have hope. I think the potential rioters are just being smart about things, meaning the later in the week they choose to riot the more likely I'll get a 4-day weekend.
oh, and thanks, Tony ... the Kaiser Chiefs rock.
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home